Poetry. About ending and beginning.

Ending and Beginning

By Paul Klusman

Said the autumn leaf to the wind blowing cold:

I know the end is near

I’ll burst forth in color and drop from my hold

I know the end is near

Said the flower still hiding when Spring came around:

A new beginning is near

I'll awake from slumber, then spring from the ground

A new beginning is near

Said the fading sky to the low setting sun:

I know the end is near

When past the horizon your light undone

I know the end is near

Said the glow in the east to the darkened sky

A new beginning is near

I bring you the gift of morning's reply

A new beginning is near

Said the man in his bed to the angel of death:

I know the end is near

Now draw from my body this tired last breath

I know the end is near

Said the child still waiting in her mother’s womb:

A new beginning is near

So soon I'll be born, then joy fill the room

A new beginning is near

Said my frightened heart when we parted ways:

I know the end is near

No more comfort of you sharing my days

I know the end is near

Said my lonely soul to the ones I adore:

A new beginning is near

Time heals all, soon we gather once more

A new beginning is near

Poetry. About hope on a gray morning.

The Earth was New

By Paul Klusman

The earth was new on a misty morn
The air was heavy and still
The sky so gray though sun was born
To a blush of green on the hill

The reign of winter was fading fast
Spring waited in the valley
The darkened season now at last
Shook off the frozen tally

Of days of toil of endless dread
Counting a painful toll
Of wanting hope where it may tread
As now the blushing knoll

The morning it lingered on this day
The sun was hidden still
Yet there in shadows began to play
Some heat against the chill

Though light was dim a cautious hope
Held out and did repair
The world anew as all awoke
To Heaven from Hell's despair

Poetry. About my Cat.

Cat Lying on my Chest

By Paul Klusman

My cat lying on my chest
Gets up from his place of rest
And wanders up by my head
Near the pillow on the bed

But nothing of interest he meets
Turns to my feet under sheets
But everything there’s a bore
Returns to my chest once more

Again at his resting place
I stare at his handsome face
In the dark before the morn
In the hour before sun is born

Then suddenly kitty's heart
Makes him stand up and depart
Hop gently down to the floor
And exit the bedroom door

What causes you quickly go?
What drives your heart to and fro?
Does it seek something to mend?
We all do my furry friend!

Do you seek light and beauty?
As any cat's solemn duty?
Do you seek wisdom and truth?
As many cats do forsooth

The clock shows time has passed
When will kitty return at last?
What quest to make him whole?
To the kitchen to visit his bowl?

And now up the stairs again
Approaches my little friend
Appears at the foot of the bed
And paws up to my head

What did you find do tell?
Then upon his breath I smell
The answer to all my quips
As kitty licks his lips

And pauses to wash his face
Then with easy simple grace
Now settles again to rest
Lying here upon my chest

From the first and now the last
With gravity holding us fast
As the minutes linger on
Together we greet the dawn

Poetry. About speaking truth.

Lonely is the One

By Paul Klusman

Lonely is the one who speaks
The truth for all to hear
While others turn away
And cower in their fear

As tyrants rain their poison
While pounding a fisted hand
And trample the flowers of justice
Growing across the land

Lonely is the one who turns
To lost and forgotten souls
The cold and hungry the silent
Who pay life’s heavy tolls

To offer comfort to shelter
Kindness against the rain
To steady in the blowing wind
Sympathy against the pain

Lonely is the one who walks
Towards better days ahead
And leaves behind the past
Where others dreary tread

But upon the road encounter
Another who heeds the call
A merry fellow traveler
Not so lonely after all

Goodbye 2020

Time to finally send 2020 out the door. I have to say this year was absolutely horrible and November 2020 was the lowest I’ve ever been in my life. I am battling stage 4 Lymphoma while trying to recover strength and control of my lower body after the tumor nearly paralyzed by spinal cord. During a pandemic. Living alone in a red state surrounded by many people who think Covid19 is a hoax.

This nearly broke me. There were times I didn’t know how I’d get through and I have to admit I contemplated suicide in my darkest moments. I didn’t make plans to carry it out but the thought crossed my mind. I would have reached out if those thoughts became pervasive but that is where the mind goes in moments of despair. Mental health is a thing and none of us are exempt from the effects of stress and doubt. I wasn't suicidal but I thought about suicide.

I have since regained hope and I believe there is a real possibility that I can beat cancer and get most of the use of my legs back. My cancer doctor tells me I have 80-85% chance for a complete cure. There is much uncertainty but I might survive 5, 10, 15, or 20 years. Perhaps longer. I can walk and control my body functions but I’m well below my normal strength so I have a long road ahead there as well.

I am normally a very independent person but a situation like this forces one to reach out for help. Many people were instrumental in my recovery to this point. First and foremost is my father James Klusman who dropped everything and drove twelve hours to stay with me and help me recover from the emergency surgery that saved my legs. The rest of my family has been very supportive as well as local friends who have showered me with wonderful food, provided transportation, and even helped scoop out Oscar’s litter box. The medical people who are healing my body are some of the finest I’ve encountered.

I am now through two rounds of chemo including something nicknamed “The Red Devil” that apparently chews up cancer and spits it out. Along with other parts of your body. I’m lucky that I cope with the chemo with very little side effects so far. I don’t take anything for granted but I’m hopeful that the rest of the chemo treatments are similar. I am scheduled for a PET scan next week to determine the progress of the treatments. Hopefully the scan shows the chemo is working to shrink what remains of the tumor.

I cannot thank you all enough for the love and support. I apologize for not responding to all of your messages and comments. I love and appreciate all of you. There are too many of you to name but you know who you are and I never would have made it through without you. Those of you out there suffering your own battles I’m thinking of you as well. Cry when you need to and find comfort where you can.

May 2021 be the year we get back to normal again.

Paul Klusman

PS Please do not send gifts or flowers. Instead donate to your favorite charity.

Poetry. Inspired by Emily Dickenson.

Sunday Coffee Shop
By Paul Klusman

Some keep the Sabbath going to church

I keep it with company

Sitting in a shop there on a perch

Sipping coffee and tea.

Patrons arrive through the front door

Friends and family and lovers

Seeking refuge from the day

Amongst the fellow travelers.

I swirl the tea then I pour

Into a cup waiting gratefully

What happy elixir what warm decor

What embrace tenderly.

Some keep the Sabbath for heaven when they die

And a hope that God is near

I soak in the morning as the hours pass by

There is already heaven here.

Poetry. About food.

Holiday Leftovers

By Paul Klusman

The day after is always blue

Festivities now are spent

The gathering we savored yesterday

Makes way to heart’s lament.

But the friendship and the glee

The warmth and the laughter

Are baked yet into treasure

Brought home for hereafter.

Suspended in a plastic bag

To hold the bounty within

Cradled in paper plates

Wrapped in sheets of tin.

Will find it’s way into corners

Of my fridge in tiny spaces

Above the milk and beside the jam

Held there in tight embraces.

Then later the joy of eating

The sweet and savory

Standing alone in my kitchen

What better company?

Oh prepared by loving hands

Oh joy like a silent tear

Oh lovely holiday leftovers

I’ll see you again next year.